Please make the naggy box go away …

SSL Zen is a decent app. It does exactly what it says on the tin, and it’s simple enough for someone like myself who is of reasonable intelligence but not always the most technologically savvy. I tried the free version first and that was too much for my sad little artist’s brain. However, I bought the paid version or at least, some kind of upgrade and it does it all automatically, which is great. So I would recommend SSL Zen, although I’m a bit confused because it’s nagging me to review the free version and I definitely paid a small fee for mine.

One reservation. The nagging for a review. Actually nagging is quite a polite way of describing it. If I had more time, I’d have deleted the plug in and used another one. But I have paid for the wretched thing and I’m too thick to apply an ssl certificate to my site without some kind of automated help.

Imagine the scene … I am in the middle of coding up a load of links. This is something that takes a LOT of concentration because I’m not a coder by nature. It’s all getting a bit complicated and suddenly everything I’m working on moves down. A box has appeared at the top of the page saying,

‘Wowzer! We just saved you $60/year in SSL Certificate fees. Could you please do us a BIG favour and give SSL Zen a 5-star rating on www.ads-software.com?’

Yes, I think. It’s an excellent plug in. OK I had to get the premium version because I couldn’t get the free one to work but that’s me more than it, the thing does what it’s supposed to, and it does it well. I will leave a review. I don’t like being told how many stars to leave, and in my line of work – one that involves a lot of pitching for reviews – telling people how many stars to give your product is considered unethical. It probably will be five stars, alright? Because the product is good. But not right NOW.

NOW I’m deep in the zone, so I click ‘remind me later’.

The box stays put. I click remind me later again. Still nothing. That’s a bit pushy.

When I said ‘remind me later’ I meant when I sign into my site tomorrow, not after a period of time so infinitesimally small that its passing is imperceptible to the human brain.

OK maybe it’s my browser. I am using Firefox after all. Yes. That’ll be it. I close the box and carry on. I save my changes and blow me down the chuffing box reappears. For some reason I’m finding it very distracting. Shizz. I carry on for a while but the box isn’t going away and the little delay between the page reloading and the box reloading and shuffling everything down each time I save my work is doing my head in.

Curse the daggy box. Wowzers! That message is a pain in the bottom! Alright then, let’s just go write the stupid blummin review asap and get it done. Yep, whizz over there, give them a quick four stars – because after being annoyed it’s not going to be five – and then with any luck I can get back to what I’m doing before I lose focus.

There I am, finger poised to click obediently and leave a comment along the lines of ‘yes it’s brilliant now go away and leave me alone’ and leg it back to my work. But wait! What’s this? I have to sign in? But I don’t have an account. Oh well. I tried. Back to work then.

The naggy spammy box isn’t going anywhere.

I try again. Oh come on! I just want to leave a review and get back to my work.

What, just pop over, leave a review and have done? Tsk no MTM, that’s not how it works. If we did that, it wouldn’t be wouldn’t be a monumental pain in the arse and where’s the BIG favour in that. You must JOIN. You must join chuffing WordPress dot org. And then you must review or you will be plagued by the box forever.

Ooooooooh. Thunk as head hits desk.

Alright then, quick, before I lose my place, set up an account. Username. Blimey how many usernames are taken? Well, all of them it would seem. Why does this have to be so hard? Jeepers why does it have to know where I live? I’m not telling it where I live, I put MYOB. Blimey oh reilley! Don’t they know that I have a deadline, I’m trying to remember something and I’m in a tearing hurry.

Now what? My password is weak? Yes, I know it’s weak, I’m in a rush and I have fifty million effin passwords already, I want another one to remember like a hole in the head. What do you mean you won’t let me sign up with a weak password? Why the chuff not? It’s not as if I’m doing anything other than writing a chuffing review for some bunch of gits who won’t leave me alone. It’s not the keycode to the deposit box at a Swiss Bank we’re looking at here, is it?

It’s been half an hour now since I decided to review the box into oblivion and I’m gently keening and banging my head against the desk in the manner of Basil Fawlty.

Woot! At last a password it likes and we’re in. Oh but wait the activation email. Yes, of course. The email arrives.

Now, AT LAST I can write a review and then they will leave me the chuff alone.

So here it is.

Five stars, but I’m knocking one off for them giving me instructions as to what I think and the absolute ball ache this whole process has been, and because I dislike spam and I dislike being forced to write reviews unless it’s a straightforward process. I would have knocked another star off but at least I’ve had a lark writing this, and I can probably use it, even if it’s blown my productivity somewhat.

• This topic was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by MTM. Reason: I have two versions and I thought I'd reviewd the wrong one