Hi @islp!
Sorry to hear that. I ran some tests (using https://www.webpagetest.org/) and I was not able to replicate any significant TTFB impact. On average I got 0.1s TTFB increase when Wordfence was activated.
If reinstalling helped I’m wondering if there could have been some garbage in your database tables. This could be due to the database user not having truncate permissions for example, resulting in some tables growing infinitely.
Another thing to look at would be to make sure WordPress cron is running as it should. Otherwise regular cleanup of the database will not be performed by WordPress itself or any plugins. You would be able to tell if there is a problem with wp-cron by looking at the Wordfence Diagnostics page in the Cron section. If there are Cron jobs listed there that have a date in the past (older than current date) this would indicate Cron jobs are not executing as they should.
Again, sorry for your troubles islp. I hope you are able to find a solution.