Using WP-Cron in a theme, can it be done? I can’t make it work

As far as I can tell this should be all the code I need, but I can’t make it work

<?php 

		// I don't want to be waiting around for things to change
		function more_cron_reccurences() {
			return array('minutely' => array('interval' => 60, 'display' => 'Once Minutely'));
		}
		add_filter('cron_schedules', 'more_cron_reccurences');

		//the actual cron magic
		if (!wp_next_scheduled('some_hook')) {
			wp_schedule_event( time(), 'minutely', 'some_hook' );
		}
//		wp_clear_scheduled_hook('some_hook');
		add_action('some_hook', 'some_action');

		function some_action(){
			$current = get_option('how_long');
			if (isset($current)) {
				$new = $current + 1;
				update_option('how_long', $new);
			} else {
				add_option('how_long', 0);
			}
		}

?>

	<div class="notice">
		Should change in <?php  echo wp_next_scheduled('some_hook')-time() ?> seconds.<br />
		It's been <?php echo get_option('how_long') ?> times now. <br />
		Next scheduled for: <?php echo date( get_option('time_format'), wp_next_scheduled('some_hook')) ?>
	</div>

The function updates the option correctly when fired on its own, and the timer does seem to count down, but the timer never actually fires the function.

All I can think is that it’s not actually possible for a cron to call a function in a theme… this would really aggravate me. Anyone have some good insight? I found the highly recommend post by Slaven. But I can’t find anything on how a cron might be different when working in a template.