Very slow site, anomalies in the database ram usage

  • Hi,
    suddenly my site with woocommerce has become extremely slow.
    The average loading time was 1-2 seconds, but now it also happens to exceed the 10 seconds sometimes also 40 second.
    Sometimes 2 seconds, sometimes 40.

    Please can you help me?

    The problem occurred overnight as you can see from the graph of the response times of the last week:
    https://ibb.co/CPv2cP4
    [url=https://ibb.co/CPv2cP4][img]https://i.ibb.co/XYp8QY6/Schermata-2020-04-30-alle-22-28-47.png[/img][/url]

    I noticed an abnormal use of ram.
    I do not know if this anomaly was present even before but it should certainly be resolved.
    The database has 512MB of dedicated ram.
    It starts using about 30% of the dedicated ram.
    Hour after hour, the ram used increases more and more up to 90%. At this point the database restarts automatically, and returns from the 30% of ram used to rise to 90% and restart cyclically.
    Here you can see the graphic: https://ibb.co/bBMYQ4Y
    [url=https://ibb.co/bBMYQ4Y][img]https://i.ibb.co/C734mj4/Schermata-2020-04-30-alle-17-53-58.png[/img][/url]

    These are the alarm values reported by phpmyadmin.
    They are generated in 5 hours, i.e. since the last restart
    Aborted clients 1
    Aborted connects 63
    Created tmp disk tables 7.4 k
    Handler read rnd 265.1 k
    Handler read rnd next 45.5 M
    Innodb buffer pool reads 7 k
    Innodb row lock waits 76
    Key reads 145
    Opened tables 30.8 k
    Select full join 71
    Sort merge passes 2

    And this is my actual configuration:

    PHP
    Version. 7.3.16
    SAPI fpm-fcgi
    max_execution_time 300
    memory_limit 512M
    upload_max_filesize 128M
    post_max_size 130M
    display_errors 0
    log_errors
    Error reporting 4983+
    Extensions 63

    Database
    Server version 5.7.26
    Extension mysqli
    Client version 50012 (5.0.12)
    key_buffer_size 1 MB
    max_allowed_packet 16 MB
    max_connections 100
    wait_timeout. 600 ms
    interactive_timeout 600 ms
    max_user_connections 50
    innodb_buffer_pool_size 256 MB
    auto_commit on
    event_scheduler off

    The site on a local server is very fast, and the site also on the same hosting but on a shared slower server with shared dataabse it is faster, strange.

    what do you suggest?
    Thanks so much

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