Thanks for the snarky and completely unhelpful reply.
Interpreting a wordpress feed could actually have something to do with wordpress – i.e. you might be able to format the feed source to dictate parts that the reading script interprets (thumbnail image, truncated description, etc). I personally don’t know; see my above post.
I don’t expect someone to be able to solve this for me, but any hints or points in the right direction to start learning would be greatly appreciated.
Regardless, I’ll continue looking elsewhere as well. If anybody else is feeling more generous than the last poster it’d be appreciated. Thanks in advance.