kinda resolved (not how I wanted it, but it’ll work)
For some reason, I never could get it to post the URL how I wanted under the [staff-member-profile] variable I declared. (Inserted it after the email tag and added an appropriate field on the Add/Edit staff page)
But, from another thread found this:
<a href="[staff-profile]"><img class="staff-member-photo" src="[staff-photo-url]" alt="[staff-name]">
Odd thing is, it makes the [staff-name], [staff-title], and [staff-photo] all clickable. It’s an unelegant solution for my problem, but it does solve my problem.